Hauptbahnhof 101

Recounting the lessons of a night at the Munich train station.

By Jon Rosen | The SAIS Observer |11.08.07

It was a bit past four on a Sunday morning and I found myself sprawled out on a concrete floor in a makeshift bed of boxer shorts and a sweatshirt. Closing my eyes, I began to drift into sleep that had eluded me for close to 48 hours, a two-day period I was finally able to — temporarily, at least — forget. Overnight train, excess German beer, devouring an entire rotisserie chicken? For all I knew, in my state of semi-consciousness, this Oktoberfest adventure had never even happened. That is, of course, until I awoke with a tap on my shoulder by what appeared to be an eight-foot tall security guard who demanded that I "woken."

Back to reality at the München Hauptbahnhof train station.

Yes, for the previous night, I'd been among the hundreds of post-Oktoberfest revelers who, for lack of better lodging option, had taken refuge at the Hauptbonhauf. Now, forced to rise after just ten minutes of much-needed dozing, I continued to let my mind wander until it landed on a subject that quickly caused alarm: The first full week of Bologna Center classes was starting on Monday, and thanks to this weekend of debauchery, I was sure to be a zombie for it. Great move, Jon. I mean, sure, I'd come to Europe to learn through travel as well as in the classroom, but not by spending nights in train stations.

Or had I? Doing my best to remain optimistic (and somehow occupy my final six hours of what I'd by then resigned to be sleepless refugeedom), I removed a list of this semester's courses from my backpack and began to compare them, one by one, with lessons I'd learned from a night in the station. Could it be that this evening might actually match up, on an intellectual scale, with a SAIS/Bologna education? What I found (as presented below through a sampling of five course-by course findings) may surprise you:

Hauptbahnhof 101 vs. American and the World Since 1945

Go standing-room-only to hear Professor Harper's take on German refugees at the end of World War II — or spend a night re-enacting their experience, yourself. Hauptbonhauf 101 gives you practical learning at its finest.

Hauptbahnhof 101 vs. Microeconomic Theory

Not even Professor Cheong's advanced section can prepare you for that fateful limited-resource choice between sleeping upstairs where it's cold but quiet and clean, or down with the masses where the only available concrete has a dubious brown stain on it. Want to study monopolist behavior? With only one bathroom, it's no wonder your wallet is drained each time you take a piss.

Hauptbahnhof 101 vs. Problems of Transatlantic Relations

Sure, Professor Allin, maybe Kagan's right. American power has given Europe its Kantian peace. But all that goes out the window when you're confronted by a drunken, 60-year old, train-station dwelling Bavarian, who asks "Ahhr you from Texaas?... Is Gheohrge Bush a wahhr criemanal?" and then challenges you to an arm wrestling match. I say lets solve all of our transatlantic quarrels like this. (Though it should be noted, I declined this man's invitation, pending orders from General Petraeus).

Hauptbahnhof 101 vs. Introduction to Development

You can read all the Easterlies or Sachs that you want, but when your monopolist bathroom (see above) gets hit with a powerful flooded urinal epidemic (rumors of sabotage circulated when it was revealed that the plumber's salary had been looted by the sanitation minister), the burden is on us all — this white man included. Suffice it to say the replacement toilet — at the nearby Burger King — quickly became as third world as they get.

Hauptbahnhof 101 vs. Politics and Economics of International Energy

Who needs a bow-tied oilman to convince us that our world functions better on fossil fuels than it would on, say, pints of Löwenbräu? Thoroughly worn down from both lack of sleep and excess of German lager, I relished the moment, at 9:36 am, that my diesel-powered train finally departed the station. Though relieved to be on my way back to Bologna, I now understood the value of this one night of exhaustion.

Hauptbahnhof 101. My proposal to SAIS is already in to make it a fall 2008 elective.